On writing… And not

Yea, yea; I know. No writing lately. I beat myself up enough about it, don’t need the whole of the internet (or the virtual dust bunnies which are my sole residents) reminding me of my short comings.
So, on writing:
November has come and gone and with it my sanity and 50k words torn from my soul. Yes, I managed to win NaNoWriMo. I haven’t touched my story since and mostly am trying to forget the utter trash that I threw onto pages. But it was glorious trash. I wrote, I learned, I got sick from too much caffeine intake. I was even social. I talked with real people, often several times a week, for a whole month.
But I have done little, okay nothing, in the way of writing since. November even burned me out on my journal writing which I had been so great about. I still want to write, I think I have a few tricks to be able to write more prolifically now which is awesome. I just need to sit down and do it.
Which leads us to the “And not” portion of my life:
It is mid January and I am doing nothing lately but planning gardens. I wake up with garden ideas and questions in my head. Yes, really. 4am this morning I was awake because I wanted to know about native bulbs. I went out in the snow to (re)measure and make sure I knew how much space I had for raised vegetable beds. I am making mini-greenhouses for winter sowing, where I pretend I am sane and put seeds out in below freezing weather. I picked up a wire shelving rack and some shop lights for starting seeds indoors. I have been pricing wood and compost and topsoil, buying seeds, and have a whole chrome window with about 50 tabs full of gardening information. I am determined to make this work this year.
On the other hand I have a back that hurts, a house that needs clean, stress from a clutch repair on the car and you know, general whineyness about the woes and miseries of life. But garden! Garden will be happy and will help with stress. I just need to stand up and do it.

Mostly, I just need to do stuff. Writing, gardening, living. I have sat around too long. There are things to do and I am always itching to do them. Something holds me back; energy, stress, ailments. The last few years I have been tearing down all the barriers one by one. It isn’t a fast process by any means, but I can see the progress and it’s starting to snowball. This winter has been tough and is testing my limits but I am dealing with things better than every before.
I look forward to the work of spring gardening, I look forward to another November of losing my sanity. I hope my year is filled with flowers and words and I can’t think of anything better.


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